Week 25: Anxiety, An Impending Sense of Doom, and Natural Birth

How far along? 25 weeks, 6 days

Total weight gain/measurements: 18-20 lbs? 

Maternity clothes: Bought a pair of shorts and the cute dress in the picture above at Target. LOVE them. 

Stretch marks? Two of them are fading?? 

Sleep: Mixed bag. Slept terribly last night, but usually I'm pretty okay except I continually wake up to pee.  

Best moment this week: We celebrated Mother's Day part 2 with our mothers and a brunch at Blue Mesa. I LOVE Blue Mesa. I LOVE food. I LOVE buffets. It was a great day. 

Miss anything? I've been really sad about alcohol lately. I don't even drink that much normally! 

Movement: She is doing belly flops on my bladder. I'm not sure why or how. It's very interesting. 

Food cravings:  Mexican food. I ate it four meals in a row this weekend. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? Last night's burger wasn't too great. I mean, it was delicious. But it made me queasy. 

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Exhausted, big belly, still some lingering nausea, WILDLY CRANKY. 

Belly button in or out? Mike and I like to play a game called "IS IT FLAT YET?" It is not, FYI.   

Wedding rings on or off? Left hand rings are a go.

Happy or moody most of the time: Less crying this week, but I have been insanely cranky and moody and angry. Maybe because we didn't go to Tyler this past weekend as planned. 

Looking forward to: Getting my Young Living check in so I can pay for the rest of Evelyn's bedding. Ready for my next doctor's appointment! 

In other news, my anxiety is off the charts lately. After we took this picture on Sunday, I burst into tears because I hadn't felt Evelyn move in quite a long time. Mike kept reassuring me everything was okay, but I was convinced she was dead. She has since made up for that with all the belly flops, but being pregnant after a loss...and realizing that my loss doesn't mean I can't have another...is terrifying. 

So are emails. I got an email from Lucie's List (which is a great website) and at the bottom it said "Just don't feel right? Check for pre-eclampsia." Um. I just spent all day yesterday at home because I "just didn't feel right." So I read this article and one of the symptoms is AN IMPENDING SENSE OF DOOM. Please go reread the last paragraph: an impending sense of doom is pretty much my life story. Now I'm convinced I have pre-eclampsia. 

BUT ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE, our birth boot camp class is going awesome. I love learning about natural birth and I am dedicated to doing everything I can (in my power) to make sure Evelyn has a natural birth. Obviously, I'm not going to fight off a doctor if something goes wrong, but I also refuse to let one stomp all over me too. I would love to hear your natural birth stories and what resources helped you as you prepared for one. 

In which Baby Girl is spoiled before her birth

First of all, I want to say a gigantic thank you to my fabulous first grade team, Jenne, Kurstin and Candi. They put together a wonderful shower and Mike, Baby Girl, and I all feel so very blessed by you. Secondly, thank you to the Heritage Elementary School staff for spoiling us with so many gifts for our baby girl. If it wasn't for the dogs, I would leave them on the love seat where I could gaze at them forever. 

Here are a few pictures I took from the shower to share with Mike since he couldn't make it. ( #golfwidow ) 

They tied cute little pink bows on the water bottles! Adorable! 

We dined on popcorn. Yum! 

Me, Jenne, Candi, and Kurstin :) 

Everyone wrote down advice for having a baby! 

Every table had these sweet flower bouquets on them. 

Spoiled rotten. LOVE Y'ALL. 

Again, what a lovely shower. Thank you to everyone at Heritage! It always feels nice to be spoiled, even when it's not all for me. :) 

Week 24

How far along? 24 weeks, 3 days

Total weight gain/measurements: 18 lbs, I assume. I bought some hand weights so I can start working out more. I go through these spurts where I am so motivated to work out and then other times I can't be bothered to get off the couch. I'm also going to join a running group in my neighborhood, though I'll probably hang out with the walkers more than the runners. Hopefully they don't all become rockstar runners and leave me behind! 

Maternity clothes: I need more. But then I remember there's only 3.5 months left and it seems silly to buy more. Anyone have any medium maternity pants and large maternity tops? I will happily take them off your hands. 

Stretch marks? Yes, yes. I wonder if people lie in their blogs about this. Everyone always says OH NO I DON'T HAVE ANY but that just doesn't seem possible. Also, I thought genetics would be on my side...mom apparently had none. Nope. Not working for me. 

Sleep: I don't sleep well when the weather is bad, but I typically don't struggle with sleep!  

Best moment this week: Mike and I cuddled in bed this morning with his hand on my stomach while baby girl jumped and played. We were quiet and still (she has performance anxiety) and she didn't seem to mind at all that we were "watching." ALSO I bought baby girl some sheets. I am obsessed with her new, custom bedding that I found. It's expensive, but so beautiful. Ahhh, the things we do for these babies. 

Miss anything? I want to know what it's like to get out of bed without feeling like a turtle stuck on it's shell. 

Movement: Yesterday I could actually SEE her moving! She was flipping around, so I stopped what I was doing and started intently staring at my stomach. Yep! Sure enough, I could see her flipping all over. 

Food cravings:  Mexican food. Yummm. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? I was dying for some peach rings the other night, so I got some and ate a ton. They were amazing. Well, halfway through our first birth class, I've run to the bathroom to slather aroma ease on my stomach because otherwise I was going to throw up all over everyone. It was so depressing. I love peach rings. Baby girl does not. :( 

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Exhausted, big belly, still some lingering nausea. 

Belly button in or out? Nothing new to report here!  

Wedding rings on or off? Left hand rings are a go.

Happy or moody most of the time: Weepy, OMG. I cry all the time. Sometimes I am in hysterics just because Mike has to go to work. On a day he was scheduled. Which I knew the whole time. I cried on and off through church this morning...happy tears and sad tears and sometimes both at the same time. I just cry a lot, okay? 

Looking forward to: My first baby shower is tomorrow! I am so excited and will take lots of pictures. :) Also, mom, dad and I are headed to Tyler next weekend for some R&R. The resort has an indoor waterpark! I conveniently just bought a maternity swim suit, so we'll have to go play. 

Week 23

How far along? 23 weeks, 6 days

Total weight gain/measurements: 18 lbs. Midwife says "hey, that's pretty good." And then I said "um...that means I gained 10 lbs in ONE month." Her response "....oh."

Maternity clothes: I hate regular clothes. 

Stretch marks? Two small ones

Sleep: Not bad! I'm still SO tired, though. 

Best moment this week: Hearing her heart beat at the doctor's appointment. Always nice to know things are going well. Oh and I got a facial last Saturday :) 

Miss anything? Mango margaritas. :( 

Movement: She had the hiccups earlier tonight :) 

Food cravings:  FOOD FOOD FOOD!!! FEED ME. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? Usually after eating breakfast or lunch. Not so much after dinner for some reason. Oh and red velvet cake, still. :( 

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Lots of movement, thick hair, long nails, exhausted, some nausea after eating

Belly button in or out? Same as last week, trying to develop a weird lip. 

Wedding rings on or off? Left hand rings are a go.

Happy or moody most of the time: Ehhh...a little of both. 

Looking forward to: Mother's Day! 

Week 22

How far along? 22 weeks, 4 days

Total weight gain/measurements: Still not sure. Over 9 lbs. 

Maternity clothes: I bought some maternity leggings. I have no idea why I waited this long. I never want to take them off. 

Stretch marks? Two small ones around my belly button :( :( :( :( 

Sleep: Well, sharing the bed on a scary weather night is not fun, but I sleep pretty good when I'm sleeping alone. 

Best moment this week: THIS EVENING! Baby girl had the hiccups we think and has been doing intense acrobatics. Mike was even able to feel her! 

Miss anything? Still craving mango margaritas. 

Movement: Lots! Some days she is so lazy and then there are days like today where she is a little Mexican Jumping Bean! 

Food cravings: Potatoes, eggs, tacos, chips and salsa

Anything making you queasy or sick? Luckily last week's nausea has gone away! 

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Pee machine, terrible eczema, lots of movement, super long nails, thick hair, etc. 

Belly button in or out? In. It is developing a little lip and continuing to become flat which cracks me up. 

Wedding rings on or off? Added my engagement ring back into the mix. Leaving the Claddagh ring off, though. 

Happy or moody most of the time: I think I've been in a good mood. Mike says I've been happier! Yay! 

Looking forward to: hopefully getting a facial on Friday...and our next doctor's appointment is a week away! 

Week 21

The chalkboard is under construction. (It needs to be repainted BADLY!) Therefore, please accept this photo of us on our date as your consolation prize. 

How far along? 21 weeks, 6 days

Total weight gain/measurements: I never did call to find out, but more than 9 lbs I'm sure.

Maternity clothes: I need more shirts. The cute flowy tops that I thought would for sure look great when I was pregnant do not. I like really tight things now. Go figure.

Stretch marks? Two small ones around my belly button :( :( :( :( 

Sleep: I started using my maternity pillow again and OMG it makes all the difference in the world. I flip and flop much less now. 

Best moment this week: getting a haircut and going on a date night with Mike...which baby girl totally crashed by kicking me to death the whole time. 

Miss anything? I need a margarita SO BAD after all this STAAR testing this week. OMG! 

Movement: Lots! It was so funny, last night I was rocking in my seat so she would go to sleep. I looked like I had to pee, but she would stop kicking me for a little bit, so I consider it a success.

Food cravings: Sushi, potatoes, eggs

Anything making you queasy or sick? Last night's sushi. :( Tonight's baked potato :( Hi Nausea. I didn't miss you.

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Pee machine, terrible eczema, lots of movement, the return of nausea, and last night I threw up at 1 am. Cruel, cruel pregnancy. 

Belly button in or out? In but a little flatter.

Wedding rings on or off? My wedding band is on, but my other two rings are still off.

Happy or moody most of the time: MOODY. I was in such a good mood at dinner last night that Mike thought I was high. Apparently being in a good mood is that abnormal for me now. 

Looking forward to: still the weekend. Counting the days to our next prenatal appointment on May 4th as well. 

Week 20 ...aka the importance of angles

God bless Mike Rausch for putting up with me and somehow making me look attractive even with these horrific allergies and crummy attitude.

How far along? 20 weeks, 6 days

Total weight gain/measurements: I haven't called to confirm, but I don't think I gained any weight since my last appointment at 17 weeks. But my face feels fatter :( 

Maternity clothes: Bought a couple more on vacation last weekend. Hot pink pants!! 

Stretch marks? Maybe, but I really hope not. 

Sleep: Just depends on the night. Usually pretty decent. 

Best moment this week: a mini-trip to San Antonio with my parents and brunch with my brother in Austin...even though it was gross. 

Miss anything? Hot baths. Allergy medicine...even though I never take medicine anyway?!

Movement: Lots. Mostly when sitting down or resting, but occasionally while I'm standing, especially if I'm feeling strong emotions haha. 

Food cravings: Burritos today. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? OMG! No! For once! 

Gender: Baby girl. 

Labour signs: No, thank goodness! 

Symptoms: Got my first double charlie horse last night. Woke up sworing and screaming and miserable. Lots of bathroom breaks and I'm still exhausted. 

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? My wedding band is on, but my other two rings were causing terrible eczema so they are off.

Happy or moody most of the time: MOODY. I have been a wreck all day long. 

Looking forward to: the weekend. I'm so tired, y'all. ALSO: it's Crystal's shower! Yay for pregnant friends!